Game of Thrones S07E02: Stormborn Recap
WARNING: There are – I repeat – ARE spoilers in this recap, so if you haven’t watched yet, I’d suggest that you read another great article here on BeepWee.
Move over Pirates of the Caribbean – Game of Thrones has upped the stakes in their epic pirate battle and you’re on notice that you need more fire, more slashing and Euron Greyjoy in your next movie. Oh, yeah, wait, there’s more to the episode too! Before we go too far into the piratey goodness that this episode was, let’s take a look at everything else with our recap of Game of Thrones: Stormborn.
After the recap of last week’s premiere episode and our favorite song, we’re taken to Daenerys’ ready room at Dragonstone where they are plotting how to take over the continent. Right in the middle of Tyrion’s advice and planning, she cuts him off and really just jumps on Varys’ behind about being a two-faced jerk and only supporting whoever he wants to win. She doesn’t trust him one bit and tells him so. He finally tells her that he’s not in this for whatever ruler will give him the best stuff, he’s in it for the people. This must make her happy because she stops reaming him and asks if he will tell her when he thinks she’s failing the people. Of course, he agrees. She then adds that if she ever thinks he’s double-crossed her, she’ll have him burned alive. His reply? “I’d expect nothing less from the Mother of Dragons.” Ha.
Our fun is interrupted by news that a Red Priestess has come to the keep. Everyone goes down to meet her and gee, we pretty much already know who it is, Melisandre. Her and Daenerys chat in slave tongue for a moment and then Daenerys tells her that she’s always welcome in her keep. Even though he just booted her from Winterfell, Melisandre tells Daenerys that she needs to summon Jon Snow. Tyrion finds out that Jon is now the Lord of Winterfell, the King in the North, and that he’s beaten Ramsay Bolton and drove the Boltons and their forces out of Winterfell. Tyrion tells Daenerys that Jon is a good man and tells her to summon him. She says yes, get him here – and tell him to “bend the knee”. (Yeah, that’s going to go over well with Jon Snow.)
From here, we go to Winterfell as Jon is receiving the raven’s message that Tyrion has sent about coming to Dragonstone. Sansa says hell no to going but they agree that Tyrion is a trustworthy guy, so Jon is on the fence. They talk a bit about him going and not going.
Back at King’s Landing, Cersei has brought in the lords that she hopes are still loyal to her. She needs everyone she can get to fight Daenerys’ army and dragons. Cersei tells them all these horror stories about the Dothraki and the Unsullied, like how they’ll burn all their villages, rape their women and daughters and general crap of that nature. When she’s done, Lord Tarly (Sam’s father), flat out asks what she plans to do about the dragons since he’s old enough to remember how the Mad King’s dragons laid waste to everything. She says that Qyburn, her new maester, is working on the problem.
After the little gathering, Jaime catches up to Lord Tarly in the hallway and has a chat. Jaime tries to bribe Tarly by telling him that he’ll make him the main general of his armies and give him a ton of land and such after Cersei wins. Tarly then makes sure to tell Jaime that his house has always been loyal to the Tyrells, so he’s on the fence but doesn’t say what he’s going to do. Jaime makes a couple small threats and that’s that.
At the Citadel, Tarly’s son, Sam, is in Jorah Mormont’s cell with the Archmaester, looking at the greyscale. The Archmaester doesn’t sugar coat anything and tells Mormont he’s basically a dead man. That he’ll still live for several years, maybe even a decade or two, but he is going to lose his mind in six months or less. Sam tries to talk about a cure that he found in a book, but the Archmaester shuts him down fast. Mormont is told that he can stay one more night, but then he gets shipped to the island of the stone men to live there until he dies.
Back down at the Red Keep, well, under it that is, Qyburn and Cersei are taking a walk through the catacombs. Cersei says that she’s never been down here, that it’s where Robert brought his whores – like she really cared. Then you get to see all the huge dragon skulls, which are just epic. Whoever did these things for the special effects did an excellent job. Qyburn talks about how horrible the Mad King was but how awesome his dragons were. Then he takes Cersei over to a big launcher and tells her to pull a lever. When she does, a massive spear shoots out and goes right through the skull of the largest dragon down there.
Note: I hope I’m not the only one who got angry at this point, because the dragons are epic. I can see where this is going, that at least one of the dragons is going to be killed, and I am just hoping that it’s not Daenerys’ favorite one.
Now we are taken back to Dragonstone, where Daenerys has Ellaria Sand from Dorne, Olenna Tyrell and Yara Greyjoy in her ready room, telling them of her plans to beat Cersei. The women ask why the hell she hasn’t stormed King’s Landing with her dragons and taken the throne. Tyrion tells them that they don’t want thousands of innocent people to die. Ellaria and Tyrion have a few barbs that they throw back and forth and Ellaria tells Daenerys that “This is war”, when she’s talking about not killing people. The ladies get a little riled up when they realize that Daenerys wants to use their armies to lay siege to the Red Keep. They ask why she’s not using her own army. Then, Tyrion tells them about their plans to take over Castely Rock using the Unsullied and this shuts them up, since it’s his own home where he grew up.
After they all say they are behind Daenerys, Daenerys asks to speak to Olenna Tyrell alone. Everyone leaves and Daenerys sits by Lady Tyrell. Daenerys tells her she knows that Olenna isn’t there out of love for her, but instead out of hatred for Cersei. Olenna tells her that she’s known a lot of cunning people yet has outlived them all and tells her to be true to herself, to be a dragon, not a sheep.
While everyone else is busy, Missandrei goes up to talk to Grey Worm and find out why the hell he’s leaving without telling her goodbye. He tells her that he has always been the bravest of the Unsullied because he had no fear, no weakness. However, Missandrei is his weakness and he’s basically scared now to lose her. Aw, sweet moment. Then, he runs over to her and kisses her. She drops her dress and he then lets her undress him – even though he’s been mutilated when he was a boy. Enter odd sex scene here.
We then go from the sex scene to Sam at the Citadel… um, ok. Sam is trying to talk to the Archmaester about letting him treat Mormont. The Archmaester is dead set against it, saying that the guy who wrote how to cure greyscale actually died from it – so it’s way too dangerous. Of course, Sam doesn’t listen, and that night he goes to Mormont’s room with everything needed to perform the cure according to the book. The treatment is to pull off the whole top layer of the skin, where the greyscale has taken hold, and then put antibiotic crème on the skin underneath. Sam’s brought a whole skin of rum and takes a big swig before he gives it to Mormont to drain. He then gives Mormont a strap to bite down on and tells him that he has to be absolutely silent or it will be bad for both of them. He also flat says that it’s going to hurt like hell. Mormont looks at Sam pretty weird, but Sam tells him that he’s really Mormont’s only hope.
Ok – this has got to be one of the grossest scenes in Game of Thrones for me. Now we get to see in full detail, Sam pulling the scales off and the yellowish-sick-colored puss-goo coming out from underneath. It. Is. Gnarly.
As they show Sam putting the knife up to another scale to rip it off, it flashes to Arya cutting into a pie – ew Game of Thrones writers, just ew. Arya is back at the inn where she met Brianne, eating with her friend, Hot Pie. He surprises her by telling her that Jon is alive and at Winterfell and King of the North now. She stops eating and gets up and leaves, telling him bye. He tells her that she’s pretty when she’s not trying to look like a boy – ha ha. When she’s outside, getting on her horse, she hears some other people talking about going to King’s Landing – which is where she was headed. But, she decides to head home instead.
Up where winter has already come, Jon is given a note from a raven that Sam sent about the dragonglass being under Daenerys’ keep. He meets with all of the lords from the north and tells them about the note from Sam and the dragonglass and about the note from Daenerys. The room erupts and everyone tells him that he cannot go. Sansa stands up and argues with him when he says that he’s going. She tells him he cannot leave everyone there and he says he’s leaving them in good hands. He’s leaving her in charge. This shuts her mouth and the camera flashes to Littlefinger, who is leaning against the wall in the shadows, smiling from ear to ear.
Jon heads down to the catacombs to say goodbye to his father before he leaves. Somehow Littlefinger thinks it’s a good idea to follow him. Littlefinger starts talking about how he loved Kat and now loves Sansa that same way. Of course, this pisses Jon off, and the little man gets slammed against the wall. Jon says if he ever touches Sansa, he will kill him.
Flash back to the woods and Arya, who stops in the middle of the day and builds a fire. We start hearing noises around her and her horse starts to freak out. Then, a pack of wolves surrounds her. She looks straight ahead and sees a massive dire wolf and realizes it’s her dire wolf, Nymeria. She puts down her sword and slowly moves toward Nymeria and talks to her. She tells the wolf that she’s going home to Winterfell and asks her to come with her. Nymeria stands there for a moment but stops snarling, then they all turn and leave her alone.
And finally – the epic pirate battle!
We’re taken to Yara’s ship where her and Ellaria Sand are having a back and forth about who is supposed to protect Yara. We almost get a little love scene between the two women, and then there’s an explosion outside. Yara and Theon go up to see, telling Ellaria and Tyene to stay down there. Topside, Euron Greyjoy’s fleet is laying utter waste to Yara’s ships and the Dornish army that they are carrying.
Two of Ellaria’s daughters are killed by Euron, the other still downstairs with her mother. After some crazy fighting on all sides, Yara is captured by Euron and Theon turns to see Euron holding a sword at Yara’s throat. He tells Theon to come save his sister and instead, Theon jumps over the side of the ship.
We leave the episode seeing one Dornish princess hanging by her neck from the bow of the ship and the other stuck to the bow with a spear that Euron rammed through her. Theon is in the water, watching Euron sail away with his sister and the rest of Yara’s fleet burning in the water.
I kind of skimmed over this part simply because you HAVE to see the pirate battle. It is craziness and something that Game of Thrones had been missing. (I mean, who doesn’t need an epic pirate battle?!) If you haven’t seen the episode yet – go. Do it now. Don’t wait another second for the piratey craziness!